Friday, September 7, 2007

Celebrities "E-mail" Addresses

I ran on a question on Yahoo Answers that was inquiring about Paris' Hilton e-mail address, and I kinda stretched it and this is what came of it:

So Paris Hilton regularly uses spoiledrichbitch@richgrand.dad, but her new address is excludedblackships@stillrich.huh.
Britney Spears managed to keep her old address a secret , but her new one is very well known, it's mom@loose.com. Pretty witty, don't you think?
Lindsey Lohan has only one and it's rehabgirl@maybenext.time
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have a joint address, lovebirds@weallhate.them, the most recent address is neverenoughmoney@suripicsformillion.bux. Although there's a roumer that Katie has her own account and this is not verified but you can try e-mail her at birthinsilence@really!?.com. And Tom has the address stillyoung@beleiveme.iam. (please believe him, because this address is pathetic)
Angelina Jolie and Brad Pit are reachable at aretheyapair@orwhat?.com, however Angelina keeps two of her own e-mail addresses as a golden reserve, same username, diffrent domain. The first is bored@nexthusband.com, the other is bored@next.kid (I humbly ask for forgiveness here, what Angelina Jolie does is honorable in every way and an act of greater humanity, every honor once more, she has proved herself a true ambassador of good will. I got carried away, Sorry).
Johny Lee Miller is subscriber at byangelina e-mail service, his username is dumped01.
Oprah Winfrey, I am not sure, but on few of her shows (umm, correction, on most of her shows!) I think I noticed the addresses paidcommercials@forriskymovies.com, and entireshow@byscript.com (remember the "Wild Hogs" and the bad act by it's cast during the show, or nobody noticed?).
Billy Bob Thornton has a really easy address dumped02@byangelina.com
George Bush is available on please@pickme.pickme, and the newer one is never@again.com. The last address is faketears@pleasepickme.again. (I didn't quite had the time to check this story, all I saw was an old man crying. Maybe because he won't get picked next time?)
Colin Farel can be contacted at dumped03@byangelina.com.
After Ben Affleck stopped playing with his pall Matt Damon, he joined the domain what'ssobber.com, his username is "ihavenoidea".
Has anyone seen Matt Damon in company of a human being, after he stopped hanging out with his "hetero" (as he well put it somewhere) friend Ben Affleck? Oh, yeah, the man 's busy, he doesn't have time to sociolize. His address is lost@boyfriend.com, oops, no, I am very sorry, my mistake, it's lost@identity.role. (Jokes aside, Matt Damon is cool, much cooler then his ex boyfriend, I mean friend, friend. I don't know what's wrong with me today!?)
Janet Jackson is a privileged owner of the e-mail itwasanaccident@iswear.com.
Michael Jackson, is at the same domain as his sister , well I guess you know it, justsleepingwithkids@iswear.com.
Jennifer Lopez, after she's like, well not present on stage or set, and after a desperate attempt to win over the Hispanic audience with a really bad spanish accent and an average song, her address is downhill@isitmyhusband?.com
It was very difficult to find the e-mail address of Julia Stiles so I opened an account for her workaholic@pleasehavesome.fun, if she ever reads this please Julia,check your mail. One message here," no one really cares what you do, and ignore fools like me, all we're good at is dissing people"(I am not gonna apologize here, but I just gotta say, she's good, she's very good. One of my favorite young and new actresses).
Brad Pit's next address is dumped04@byangelina.com. This is quite a popular domain, isn't?

Well, that's all I got for now, maybe next time there will be some more e-mail addresses of your favorite stars!

*Disclaimer: All e-mail addresses are fictional, however the characters, their characterisctics and the events are free for interpretation.

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